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May. 27th, 2016

Progress

Its a great feeling to know that after only a few months of changes, that something is working.

Supermarket retail has a dark side, everyone has addictions to things and people are going down and dieing due to them. Everyone may look down upon supermarket workers, but we all have lives to live outside of work. When someone you work with goes out, it hurts, it hurts to know that during the time I've worked for my company, people have compared me to one who recently passed away. Although I never knew Dave, it was at that moment that I knew I had to change my life around and be aggressive with changes that I wish I had done 10+ years ago.

When 2 people who I worked with for periods of time go out with cancer and a heart attack, it strikes home even more. Both were avid smokers and smoking led possibly led to their health issues they are dealing with right now,

It sucks that I know I am going to be leaving the only store I've been assigned to since 2000, but change is part of the job, to go to new places, meet new people, and do it all over again in a different town and setting. I am also going to be promoted possibly within the next year, but people dying and getting sick isn't the way I want to move up within my company. I wish it was better reasons like lottery wins or happy retirements, but instead, they are working themselves til they die.

No one wants to die, but its part of life, and can happen anytime least expected.

As I sit here and type away this blog entry, I have undergone successful changes in my own lifestyle. I never smoked, so I never had to worry about that. I do drink now, but drinking alcohol is a lot better than drinking sugary soda's. I changed my eating habits. Gone are the greasy chicken tenders and popcorn chicken from the deli, the random assortment of shit I'd buy from a grocery aisle like big candy bars, cookies, gummy bears, and other bad foods. I started out slow, I replaced half of my drinks with water, then I moved to 75%. Now I feel younger, more energized, more healthy, and happy.

As the days pass, more and more people comment about what they see. Over the past 6-8 months, a body is hidden with oversized winter coats and sweatshirts, but now Spring has arrives and its t-shirt time and people instantly see the results. Soon Summer will be here and it'll be pool and beach time and the shirt will be off and then the results will really start to show. Its all about staying aggressive and active. I used to just mooch through the day, do my time, do as little as possible, and let my overnight troll clean up after me, but he's gone. A few words to the right people booted him far.

When your happy with yourself, your happy with more and more things in life as well. Life is too short to go through it in pain and suffering, or being sick or in bad health. Be smart, be safe, change little things you do each day and soon everything else gets better and so will you. I know no one reads these blogs due to the lack of comments and I really don't care, but just be yourself, enjoy life to its fullest each day and enjoy the presence of those who enjoy you for being you.

Change doesn't come without trying and risk, but it also doesn't come without trying.

its all in the mind . . . . think you can do it, push yourself to do it, and you can get it done!!

- lostways27 -

May. 26th, 2016

Wade Boggs Number 26 Retired at Fenway Park - May 26, 2016

Only fitting that Wade Boggs gets his number 26 retired on the 26th day of the month.

A solid thirdbaseman for the Boston Redsox for 10 years, he has the 2nd highest team batting average in Redsox history behind Ted Williams. He reminds me of Dustin Pedroia, our second baseman who always brings his best foot forward to every game he plays.

Although I still feel the Redsox 1986 team was the best of my childhood and should have won a World Series, but due to Bill Buckner's ground ball error that cost them game 6 and then lost game 7, Wade was still one of the ones I remember. I have plenty of his baseball cards, and action figures. He might have left Boston for the Yankees and Tampa Bay, but he played his best games in Boston.

You can hate a player and a person for wearing a World Series ring from the rival Yankees, but it doesn't deminish his accomplishments as a Boston Redsox player. He did his best to bring us a championship and end that 1918 curse, but still, he'll always be remembered as one of the best Redsox players ever, because only the best get their number retired and he was the 9th player to do so.

You can see how the past made the team stronger, players like Boggs, Rice, Evans, and Clemens were solid 10 year + team players for Boston and made baseball fun and interesting to watch growing up.

Seeing the highlights from the 1980s and early 1990s makes me love the technology we have today. Better graphics, better commentators, better rules, and more entertaining.

Look back to the past . . . . don't live in it. Learn from it and move on.

Respect the legends!!

- lostways27 -

May. 25th, 2016

Bits and Pieces

To say that life is a puzzle is an understatement, but it is true. Life can go in many different ways for everyone, some good, some bad, some without direction or purpose.

When you look around, you see things throughout the day that are positive, negative, or misleading. Its not about what happened, but its about why did it happen and what happens next to complete the part of that piece of the puzzle. Its simple things that add up, positives that stay positive, negatives that try and undo all the positive work set ahead.

If you give up, you lose, but it you win, don't become over confident, because just as quickly as you win, you can also lose again, or more.

Today was a great day, worked, walked, got some sun, Redsox won, Redsox celebrated the 1986 team, and all in all, it was a positive day. I stepped on the scale and hit a new low weight of 178!! Its easy to gain that weight back, so I have to be careful. I'm doing well in my goal of not drinking coke as much as before, but I still drink a little, no where near as much as I have before. Its not just that that has changed me, taking walks during lunch has effected me a lot. Its fun to get away from work, its free, its exercise if its done at the right pace as well, and also, with the hot sun beating down, adds a little tan to the skin that is open to the sun. Today I walked the most steps, according to my phone which I've had since Veteran's Day. Tomorrow is a day off from work, so I have to figure out how to stay active and reach 6,000 steps. Its impossible, but possible if I find something to do.

The sad news of the day, the eagles nest I watch online is now offline. Apparently, the parent eagles brought back something bad to the next, possible something with poison and unfortunately, a parent eagle and baby eagle have passed away. Hopefully it wasn't something poisoned, but still, it was a hard thing to see after a great Redsox win.

For those who actually read this, the birds nests I follow have day time cams, 24 hours a day, complete with night vision when its dark. The owls were fun in the Winter, but they grew up and moved on and haven't been back to their nest in months.

In closing, always remember that life is full of ups and downs, never let one person make you feel down because life isn't about feeling bad, its about relaxing, having fun, and just being yourself. Its impossible to look into the mirror at someone who isn't you, even when you look into the mirror drunk ater peeing at a restaurant after too many drinks saying to yourself "I drank too much and won't do it again" because we all do, we all do things again, even if we say we won't do them again.

Believe in the system, believe in yourself.

- lostways27 -

May. 23rd, 2016

Outside Looking In

There is a period of time when you know the inevitable is going to happen.

In supermarket retail, full timers get moved from time to time to keep things different, and promote good workers and punish the problemed ones. I recently lost a horrible working who was constantly tipping over carts, dropping products, wasting materials, wasting time, not rotating things properly, and just an overall messy dirty slob of a worker. When you fast forward 2 weeks since he has been gone, the store manager sees the big picture, that he was the problem and things are much much better off without him. Just standing anywhere near my department or backroom, he could see the simple and clean standards I have set up. Everything is organized, stacked well, and in line, nice, fresh, and rotated.

Its not hard to open a box and put food on a shelf, but to some with a handicapped mental capacity, it is. When you work as a team with people who listen to you and work the ways you want to, its perfect. Things get done and everyone is happy.

Today was a great day, but bigger things lie ahead. As the days go by, I know my days in my current store are over. I've done everything at the level I am at and there is no more room to grow and move up in it. Its a matter of time before I become and assistant or a manager because I have the psychology down to a science and know what to do and when to do it. Everything happens for a reason, but you cannot do anything unless you put your mind into it.

Over the past 6-12 months, I've expanded everything about myself. I used to be quiet, but now I am open and outgoing. I used to fear highways, now I love them. I used to hate going out, now I wonder when I'm going out again. Life gets better every day as I make myself better, working harder, eating better, and getting my life in order. I might be 34 and still living at home, but I've been saving, and saving, and soon bigger days are ahead. I know I'm getting transfered, but I don't know when. Its just that wait and see period of when and where.

Everything happens for a reason, just never give up in any situation, good or bad, because things get better and better as time goes on. Always belive in yourself, set goals and limits, and find that next level, whenever and wherever it may be.

Embrace the past, but learn from it and never leave those who were part of it behind....because better days make better people!!


- lostways27 -

May. 22nd, 2016

Bacon and Beer - May 21st, 2016

Some things go hand in hand,

Some things are perfect.

On this cloudy day, I went to Nashua, New Hampshire to a Bacon and Beer Festival. It was my first time going to a beer thing since I started drinking last year and I loved every minute of it.

The day started out like any other, double check the directions, make sure I knew where I was going, and wait til I decided it was time and go. A few months ago, I drove to Mohegan Sun in CT, but this was my first time driving in New Hampshire, the good news, it was closer than Connecticut, the bad news, I was driving alone, no one to talk to, no one to ask for directions, nothing.

I get there no problem, I sit in the car texting a few people, and decided it was time to go. I could have took a shuttle bus, but I took a walk. Having walked the day before around Lexington, it warmed me up to it. I wore a t-shirt thinking it would be hot in the sun because yesterday I wore a sweat shirt and was sweating badly.

I arrive at the fest, it was bigger than I tought, plenty of space, plenty of people, lots of beer samples, but not enough food.

As the time goes on, I'm walking around by myself, I'd blend in, walk behind other people, do whatever they did, move around, getting a little of everything. I took a lot of free samples, bumper stickers, bottle openers, stickers, pins, pens, cards, it was great.

- lostways27 -

May. 18th, 2016

Back to normal

On and off I come on here and type,

It could be simple, it could be a long memory or a reaction to a sporting event, tv show, movie, or whatever else.

Its my space to type what I want and be free.

Todays topic is my lower back problems from 1998 through 2001....

Back in high school, I did weigh 205 pounds, and I was very into sports, playing sports, and not even remotely interested in how I looked or how healthy I was. I remember it like yesterday, I was at my Uncles house in Arlington for Easter or Mothers day. it was warm, and the 9 of us cousins were playing a game of wiffle ball along the side of his house. I loved competition and winning at all costs. Watching Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa hitting home runs was huge in my life, I always loved playing baseball and gave up in 1993 when I got tired of losing.

So a game of wiffle ball breaks out after dinner and were all running all over having a great time. I come to bat and I don't know why, but my back was killing me, almost to the point of not being able to stand up. I figured a few swings for my final at bat might loosen up the tension in it and make it feel better, but I couldn't have been any more wrong than I was. The night past and I couldn't get out of bed the next morning. It was the most pain I was ever in and I couldn't even sit up. I ended up missing school for the first time in nearly 5 years. I remember sitting on the couch with my mom and an ice pack on my lower back for most of the day before going to the doctor to see if it was serious or worse than we thought. My doctor made me do a few stretches and movements and said it wasn't anything serious, to just rest and not do gym class or anything sporty for the next few weeks but to come back if it doesn't get better.

You talk about a long time of sitting on the sidelines, watching your friends play sports, play games, and not be able to join in. It sucked.

A few years go by, I had a job, and around the middle of 2001, I think it was after my parents got divorced, I was experiencing pain again in my lower back. Looking back on it, it had to be from work because at that point of my life, I had long days, I'd go to college from 730am til 12pm, then work from 1-3pm til 8-11pm. Sometime during those days at work, I had to have reaggrevated my lower back again because the pains were coming back.

Its how you deal with pain and suffering that makes you look back and wonder what happened, where did I go wrong, and what led to the actions that followed. Working in a grocery store, I found pain relief in the form of tylenol. It sad something about back pain and I thought perfect, this will do the trick. So I thought I was doing my body a favor by taking the pills, thinking that its a sign of growning up, taking meds to stay healthy.

The stupidest addictions come where you least expect them. It happened that I ended up taking 2 pills before bed and 2 more whenever I woke up. This cycle went on for months. I couldn't help myself, I thought I was doing the right thing, but I probably wasn't. I remember watching an episode of WWF wrestling and someone died. I think it might have been the British Bulldog, a big muscle guy who also had back problems through the end of his career. When it was revealed on the Internet wresting sites that it was a pill overdose, I was shocked. I thought to myself thats not the way I want to die, I don't want my life to unexpectedly come to an end like that, I have to stop.

I remember talking to a random friend in a college class about it, she told me I should seek help for the possible addiction symptoms I was having, but she was smarter, she told me to throw away the pills and never use them again unless I am sick or in extreme pain. Even though its been 14 or 15 years since then, it was truely an impactful time on my life, turning to a stranger who I haven't even known for 3 months for help and it worked. The Internet was a lonely place when it began, before Facebook, Twitter, and even Myspace. I lost contact with all my friends from school and had no one else to turn to because my life was a mess and all I did was eat, sleep, go to school, and work. It was an endless cycle, but eventually got better once I dumped the pills.

You don't relise your mistakes in life until you look into your past. The name lostways27 means just that, Let go of your past, lose your old ways and habits, and become better and better each and every day. It started when I was 27 and the name has just stuck with me ever since.....lostways27!!

- lostways27 -

Nov. 7th, 2015

Chaser

Its impossible not to go through life chasing people, things, and ideas, but when you catch what your looking for, your dreams can come true.

Believe in yourself. Be persistant, never give up, never surrender.

Every idea is just an idea. Every thought is just a thought.

Put ideas in motion and get things done.

Nothing gets done one your back, laying on the couch or in bed every day.

Believe in yourself, set your goals reasonable, and acocmplish them.

Every goal accomplished is a great feeling, but don't lose sight of the road ahead, place more goals, and reach for them.

Life is too short to be miserable, unhappy, or unfinished.

Get it done, go get it, and get it on!!

- lostways27 -

Sep. 29th, 2015

Inventory - September 29

Its not a bad thing that its inventory, its a part of the work process set by a company to check up on its stores and figure out its sales vs losses ratio throughout its own company but when the ones who are choosen to count the stuff don't show up, its chaos. You expect to leave the day with a feeling of good or bad and some idea how your store does, but instead, nothing. Never dwell, just do it all over again some other time. Oh well.

The day was a breeze. Worked a nice 6-3 shift, took a break with the boss, a lunch by myself, played a lot of scratch tickets and won more than i spent and i kept playing and rode a nice little hot streak of 9 tickets all for ticket value or better. The highlight was teaming up with a manager and splitting the winnings on certain tickets. We rode it for a while, I gave him $5 and bought him out, keeping a $10 winner and moving on to the next day.

Big Powerball jackpot tomorrow night. $300 million+!! Imagine winning that!!

Onto the next one!! Its going to rain bucket tomorrow.

- lostways27 -

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Sep. 9th, 2015

Days

As the days go by, I sit here wondering whats next.

I just had my last vacation of the year, +2 days currently for a day off and a personal day.

Its become painfully obvious to me that my life lacks direction, aside from sports, music, and whatever Youtube and random fun I get myself into.

I like this blog because I can openly and honestly express my opinions, thoughts, and ideas in a free and relaxing way.

As I search through tumblr and have conversations with my friends, i love and enjoy everything I see and hear. Its a matter of time before I decide to get back into the dating game and move on with my life.

As I sat by the fire the other night, quietly listening to conversations the others had, I myself had conversatins within my own mind wishing to get moving with my life, get my own place with a girlfriend, embrace life, and continue on. Its not as easy as it was 10 years ago, but time makes everyone wiser, smarter, and more cautious, but also rush into situations that may or may not be meant to be.

Right now, my current focus has turned to my fantasy football team, Bruins preseason, as well as tomorrow nights Patriots Superbowl Championship banner raising and game 1 of the 2015 NFL season.

What will tomorrow bring?

Go Patriots!!

- lostways27 -

Sep. 6th, 2015

Player 2

In life, there are many things we all wish to accomplish, do, and succeed in.

Everyone deserves to be happy, cheerful, and enjoy life to its fullest, but it sucks when years pass by and your still single.

On top of everything else going on, age is always a factor. I try not to say anything negative about my past relationships, but age ended that one without a doubt. 10 years age difference is too much. 2-4 ages +/- is ideal.

When you look to the left, or look to the right, there are people everywhere doing fun things, relaxing, and having a great time.

As I do as I please and have fun, I always have a doubt and wish things could be much much better than they are.

In 2006, I was one phone call away from having what could have been the best relationship and friendship of my life, but I doubted myself, got scared, and didn't pull the trigger to make the right call. Instead, I settled for something I never should have done in the first place, cheate a friend, took his fiance, and made what at the time, I thought was the best decision for me, but it was wrong on every level and I'll never ever do tha again.

You can learn from the past, and use the past to make your future better. As of typing this, I haven't heard from the ex since 2012 for unknown reasons to me, maybe she found another relationship or just simply doesn't want to talk anymore.

I spent the past 5+ years living a quiet life, saving and saving, and saving, and saving, and saving, and investing in things. I lived a simple life, work and home, stay at home, rent free (just doing a few chores and things around the house). It was a fun time, but depressing too. The feeling and want to go out, but no one to go out with, friends who have moved on, away, and have children, families, and problems of their own. Alone I be. Alone I am. Alone I still am.

You could say that I am picky, or choosey, or whatever you feel like calling it, but it's just the way it ended up.

Now things have changed for the better. 2015, finally out of my shell, going out, and having a great time every time, but theres still that bad feeling inside, the feeling of being alone, the feeling of being stuck and unable to go to the next level. People are happy, deeply involved in relationships, and then theres me, single and saying to myself why? Why still single at age 34.  Its mostly my fault because over the past 5-6 years I gave up on looking for a relationship, gave up on going out, and was content on just staying at home all the time and just doing whatever I wanted to do at the time which was a combination of eat, sleep, work, or watch sports.

2015 changed everything. and it completely changed my feelings on life and everything in it. People could say I live a sheltered life because its rare that I would ever leave the town I am from or go out of my way to do anything different from what I have been used to. It all started in March with a trip to Margaritas. Little did I know at the time it was the beginning of a year full of changes in my life. In high school, I tried beer in the woods with friends and hated it and avoided it and all alcohol since. During my last relationship, we had a New Years Eve party and I was asked if I wanted a drink and (again, staying comfortable) declined because of 1 bad experience with it. As that night went on, I caved in, had a drink, didn't like it (It was Smirnoff Grape) and avoided all alcohol again until April).

Round 2 in April was the double header, A trip to Margaritas, followed up by a trip to a place I've never been to, Waxy O'Conners on Hartwell Ave in Lexington. It seemed odd, and way way out of place, but still we went on that Friday night an of course, the place was packed, it was band night too!! Everyone was drinking at Margaritas and then again at Waxy's, and it went on from there.

Sometime in late April, it finally happened, 3rd time out in 2 months (first time since 2009). We all fell in love with Waxy's that we wanted to have dinner there. Having no clue what to get, I asked a friend what should I get, she gave me a suggestion, and I went with it. First drink in a long long time was a Sam Adams. The drink was better than the band that night, the band One Hot Mess. The other band was better, The Kulprits. So I finished the drink and had another, not too bad.

Thinking that was it, things only went up and got better from there. I wasn't a drinker, but became one, especially after trips to The Great Wall in Bedford. Suffering Bastards and Blue Hawaiians are perfect!! Memorial Day I had 3 Suffering B's and it was the biggest push into alcohol for me.

As June continued to move, I did my own research and tackled it like it was a college class. In college, I got a D in Alcoholism and Substance Abuse because I had no idea what anything was. Now I am all set, all learned, and moving on trying new things along the way.

A BBQ in June got me over my fear of highways. When your drivers ed teacher has you drive on a highway during a snow storm during rush hour after school, you tend to shy away from them. I've driven on them over the years, but very infrequently, usually taking longer ways and backroads. Deciding it was time for a change, I got on the highway, and moved to the next level, went to a BBQ, then back to Burlington for drinks at the Cheesecake Factory, and then of to work a few hours later.

Later on, things got even better. In 2000, during my first Summer from high school graduation, I drove to Metheun to help out a new store at work and had to drive there. Thinking nothing of it, it was Summer, so I said ok, how do I get there, they gave me directions and on I went. Of course, I got there ok, but then got lost coming home because I had no idea 128 was also 95!!!

I had never driven on more than 2 highways at anytime during a road trip, let alone 3. The biggest challenge was to drive something like 35 miles +/- to Haverhill for a BBQ. I had to google it, and study the maps because it was far, farther than I had ever driven. That day comes, and I go. I drove, and made it no problem. Then there was another BBQ, and same thing, I made it. And then there was a smaller BBQ and I went swimming for the first time in 20 years in a pool. I had been to the beach once in 2007 to swim, but was there for less than 5 minutes in the ocean. So I did. I swam for about 30-45 minutes.

Again there was another BBQ and it was too cold to swim, and another but i was too late to swim. But all in all, I conquered another item off my list.

As time went on, this Summer turned out to be the best one ever. Lots of fun trips, lunch breaks at work, BBQ parties, dinners, bowling, and alcohol. You never know how much of an impact a small group of solid friends and co-workers can have on you until you push each other around, relax, unwind, and have fun. Every time gets better and better, every experience gets better and better and makes every future time better as well!!

I go from being nervous, living a sheltered life of very little outside of being at home to having fun everywhere I go every time!!

So the future remains bright, very uplifting, and full of fun and challeges along the way. I've come so far this year out of my shell, I am enjoying life to its fullest, but once again back to the original topic, still single. That's the ultimate goal for the end of the year, but the fact that I write off people because they don't drink, don't drink, they smoke, they have kids, they live too far away, they have too many animals or goats, hate sports, or had a pervious relationship longer than 10 years (which makes you say think what went wrong).

I'm not looking to the impossible, I'm just looking for a person who is fun and relaxed, ready to settle down, and just be done with the random dating and online dating scene. I just want to bring closure to the single life, and move onto the next phase of life, with someone else, and being the next chapter in the journey.

Lifes to short to keep searching and play the waiting game, the right time is just around the corner!!

- lostways27 -

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