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Jul. 26th, 2016

Shouldn't be here now . . .

Around 14 years ago, I met a girl in an AOL chat room. It turns out she was actually from Massachusetts and kind of close.

For the next 3 years, we'd have endless conversations about anything and everything, but I never got up the nerve to ask her out because I had no idea what I was doing or where Framingham was on a map but still, it'll be the biggest mistake I ever made was not saying "Hey, lets meet." She has since moved away to Florida and now has a boyfriend, but I keep saying to myself, I dropped the ball on that one. We still talk, but not as much as before. Its just a shitty feeling to know that I was too relaxed and laid back and let her slip away.

Even when I was living in Winchester, we'd still talk, but again, I never met her.

When I returned home, we really picked up chatting again, but its not the same.

Every battle I fight and lose puts me back a few steps and I feel trapped and unsure where to go next, what to do, what to say, or how to deal with it. It just sucks.

Its just a shitty feeling to lack direction in life, to lack friends to count on, to be a loner who is just around to cover time others don't know what to do with. I haven't been in a relationship since 2010 and as I inch closer to 35, I see I'm going to be that person alone forever.

Life sucks, people suck. I think its time to turn back and go into my shell of hating everything and everyone around me again.

I know who I can trust, I know what I think I want, but getting it is like climbing a cliff without ropes.

Eventually I'll decide things, until then . . . the alcohol will keep me company.

- lostways27 -

Jul. 25th, 2016

- 5

As I sit here in my room, relaxing, drinking, and have the AC on behind me, I still have a lot on my mind, but I try not to think about any of it.
Its impossible to make a person, place, or idea disappear, but not thinking about it doesn't make it go away, it only delays it.

Behind every idea, there is a better idea, behind every person, there is a smarter person, or one more experienced.

Life is full of choices and as I count down the time to 10pm Saturday night when I turn 35, its scary to think that I am still where I am when I moved back home on February 16th, 2010. Everyone deserves to be happy in this world, but since then, I've been floating, like a piece of drift wood going down a little stream.

Sometimes I feel like a type random thoughts in here, but as the drinks continue, the truth comes out and it hurts those who have no souls or morals and lie to themselves in the mirror and those who used to be their friends.

I can start my own group without them, and I could shop elsewhere, but its funny everytime I go in that store I used to work in, and see how horrible it is. A bread rack in the bread aisle at 1pm and shelves empty, a dairy department in shambles, a frozen department loaded with expired products.....just sad and depressing to see how far its fallen since I left. I enjoyed a couple of customers who came up to me as I was shopping and said hi and they miss me there. But its deeper than that, its time for me to take care of me, be all about me, and let go of the past.

The more stable I get in Stones, the better and better I feel, currently on vacation, I feel better than I have in a while, but we'll see how things go once September rolls on in.

Life is full of choices and I've been narrowing down certain options out there. Whether it is work choices, friends, where to live, who to date, my life is my choice. I hate to be about myself, but for too long I've put others before me and when certain ones step on me and a few I care about, its time for a change to mix things up, put the shoe on the other foot, and move on.

I turn 35 Saturday and I didn't invite certain people because they feel like drama is part of their lives and let certain friendships ruin those they created beforehand. It doesn't matter who is friends with who. If I decided to add every girl I ever worked with or knew, its no of anyones business. My life is my life, and its said people try to corrupt and ruin others by making false accusations and assumptions about shit they know nothing about.

Last Summer was amazging, there were BBQ's, restuarants, birthday parties, and other random adventures. This year its been different, like 1 side vs another. This time last year, I planned my birthday party and had a great time at The Great Wall, Tony C's, and Kings, and it led to other nights out after it.

As I continue this week of adventures and trips down memory lane, alone I go to places I went to with others. Its sad the way things have happened, but it shows I don't need any of their negetive vibes around me. If they plan something for Friday night, I'd be shocked, but knowing them, I doubt it because they don't care about me, they care about themselves and what they can get out of it.

Life is too short to fill it with bad things, bad thoughts, drama, bad people, and just problems.

August changes everything. For now, its just wait and see and go with the flow.

Tomorrow is another day and another adventure without anyone.

I'm my own friend . . . doing things my way. . . . on my own . . . . without others who don't care about me. . . . but only with those I care about the most.

- lostways27 -

Jul. 17th, 2016

Future Uncertain

As time flies by, my future is undecided.

Today I hear from my best friend that my former store manager who finally gave me the chance to move on and pursue my goal in my career to move up says "I was from a different breed." As reality sinks in that I really am as good a worker as everyone tells me, I am thankful to surround myself with positive people who want me to rise higher and higher in the company.

There have been plenty of times since June 6th when I was driving to Yardhouse after I learned of my transfer that I wanted to stop, wanted to step down, wanted to return "Home" to Lexington, but certain people who are friends above all else, keep me focused and on the right track.

As for everything else, I am ready to move on from other areas of my life as well. I am tired of being single and tired of dating sites and random bars. I think finding the right woman is tougher now as I close in on age 35 than it was 10 years ago when I got into a relationship that I wasted 3 years of going no where with. I shouldn't say wasted because I did learn a lot in that time about myself, and Woo-town and Stones and the Readings because she was a great driver and me and my fear of highways and driving didn't see eye to eye.

I am also ready to move on and move out of this house. Its bad. I don't like to air dirty family laundry on here, but I just want to be happy in life, to be out, to be free, to not be questioned why I do certain things. I'm not 15 anymore, I have a life outside of the Internet, outside of the living room where I watch sports, and outside of the kitchen where I eat.

My 35th birthday is July 30th, a Saturday night, but I don't want drama, I don't want to hear shit from certain people about why a certain person is there, I just wish we could go back to last Summer when everyone was happy with each other and there were no problems, there were no egos, there were no battles and feuds and backstabbing. I view my birthday as the beginning of the times out together, and my birthday was above all the best because it was 3 places, The Great Wall, Tony C's, and the first time at the best place of all . . . . Kings!!

As I try and fake a smile and say everything is fine and dandy, on the outside I have the psychology background to paint a picture I want other people to see, but the reality deep inside hurts that there is drama everywhere around me, conflicts of this person vs that person, and friendships ruined because certain people believe certain people can't be friends when there is nothing going on at all and its just a bunch of bullshit.

When the day comes, July 30th, I know where I am starting my birthday, I just don't know who will show up, when, where, or even if. But I do know where I am going, what I want to do, but its just a matter of time before I pick and choose who I want to be a part of this.

Its been a long week, a week ago I was a mess, threw up on a Boston sidewalk outside Fenway Park, but those 4 people I was with took great car of me. The girl in the dirt who held me up so I didn't fall, rubbing my back pushing it out of me, the service desk lottery friend who kept encouraging me saying "You'll be fine," and the Mohegan friend and one who made sure I was sober enough to drive home after 3-5 hours of cool down time.

I just know that I have a lot of thinking to do the next few weeks, a lot of soul searching to do too.

I just want to be happy, inside and out. I am very happy that throughout my problems that I reached a goal this morning of 169 pounds. A number is just a number, but 165 will be the final destination number I think. Anything lower is probably too low, but 160 most likely ain't happening.


- lostways27 -

Jul. 16th, 2016


Its impossible to believe in something you don't believe in, but overtime you can change how you feel and how things around you are. Its been a long road in my work journey, but I still go on. Positive chats from close friends keep me on the right track and help me out of my recent slide back into the "I want to give up and go back home" phase I was recently in. It didn't help that I got too drunk at Fenway Park either.

Today was an interesting day, as I embaressed the store manager when I told him all it took was a little bit of water to clean half of the nasty floor in my cooler in Stones, but the fact is, I got it done.

As I chatted with the assistant grocery manager today, it was positive, he told me I'm on the right path, after having a weak weak dairy department for a long time, as he said, they needed someone strong to turn things around and turn things around I did. I told him the only areas left for me to work on are milk orders for Sunday and yogurts (which are a disaster company wide having been in 3 stores due to a reset). I feel more and more confident in myself everyday as I chat and get to know more and more people and more and more experiences and interactions. He also said I work at a level higher than an assistant and he can see me as a grocery manager because I come in to work everyday ready and quick and get shit done and ready quicker than others he's worked with.

Sometimes I think people are kissing my ass or inflating my ego, but I look at whats around me and I guess I really am as good as people say I am.
- Ranger Rick in Woo-town said I was only going to be in his store for "A couple of months"
- Franky and Richie Rich told me within 6 months the assistant in my store went from night crew cheif to assistant and I am on track, just need new experiences
- Nicky in Lexxxy, who just got travel pay, told me today that once travel pay is made (to him) he won't be there long.

So it makes me wonder how much longer I'll be in Stones, how much longer I'll be in Dairy, and how soon am I going to be promoted, but most importantly to where?

As I work in a high high volume store and am actually keeping up, with 3 great visits from Bender, 1 from Louie, and countless positive comments on shrink, markdowns, and customer satisfaction compliments, its a matter of time and the writing is on the wall that I could be on the move again. The only drawback is the store manager I currently work for doesn't seem to know too much about the grocery business and often times seems overwhelmed.

Always believe in those who made you you, and stay true to those who believe in you and keep you on the right path. I've made a lot of great friends the past month, and look forward to what lies ahead next!!

- lostways27 -

Jul. 12th, 2016


What do you do when you hate your job?

In college, I would always withdraw from a class I felt I'd fail or didn't like. For me, running away from a problem has always been the answer. As I sit here and type away my problems to whoever wants to read, I feel hurt, pain, rejection, and I know deep down inside I am battling some form of depression or anxiety, but I hide things good, sometimes too good.

As I listen to music and type, I love my friends who have always been there, believed in me, helped me grow, and even Sunday picked me up and kept me out of trouble when I reached the lowest part of my life.

On Sunday, I felt rejection, I hate driving to places I don't know alone. A year ago, I took a coworker to the first BBQ far far north in the state and did get lost on the way home, but felt confident I had his sleepy drunk ass in my car and I wasn't alone. On Sunday, I felt rejected, I asked 2 different people to meet me at certain places and neither side wanted to. I am thankful that I did what I did and parked where I parked because the Mohegan people are the best people, especially at dealing with overdoing things like alcohol. I spent close to 3 hours sobering up on a couch and they were both positive and helpful caring for me when I needed it the most.

I don't remember how I got outside some bar outside Fenway Park, but I shouldn't have drank after my 3rd beer at Fenway Park. I had 1 drink at Boston Beer Works, 4 or 5 inside Fenways park, and 1 and a half at a bar outside after the game. I knew I was bad after the 4th beer in the park because I didn't eat anything. Then a friend stole my phone and filled it up with 70 photos, I guess payback because I always steal her phone at other places. Not sure how much longer it was, but after I spilled my beer trying to get my phone back, I see more photos of myself with a beer that I don't even know what it was, possibly a Blue Moon because there was something floating in it. As the next part is a blur, I do remember being outside the bar with the 4 of them, someone holding me up as we leaned again a railing and I threw up and threw up, and pushed myself to throw up more. I don't know who, but someone held on to me to make sure I didn't fall into the pile. Eventually I did fall, but luckily it was towards them and away from the pile. Next, I remember the smiling driver, a great great guy who they loved who was genuinely concerned for me, and afraid I was going to throw up in his Uber car.

As we arrived back in Newton to the friends house, there was no way I could drive, let alone walk. I've never been this drunk before and they took me inside and had me sit on the couch with a big Home Depot bucket and they kept giving me water. As I sat and stared at the fishtanks, and the ceiling, I was in a way happy that they took care of me. They talked to me and eventually I could feel myself starting to snap out of it. I drank atleast 4 glasses of water, slowly over the course of the next 3 hours. I did get up and go to the bathroom, accidentally slamming the toilet seat down as I finished. And we left, headed over to Waltham for some more food. I do feel bad because I guess I was too drunk for them to eat at Fenway at the bar outside it. I'm not a fan of Mexican food, but I did have more water, a Fanta Orange, and like 3 chips before I said if I eat anymore, I know its not going to end well, and I stuck to water the rest of the night.

With that being said, I made it home safely, a long slow ride threw Watertown and Waltham along a path I was most familiar with.

Life is full of choices, but when people see you in a time of need and they are there for you til your back to normal again (or close), they are better than originally thought. A few months ago, I had a shitty time at Buffalo Wild Wings and then Kings and again somehow drank too much on an empty stomach. Its the problem that I can fix because at a July BBQ earlier this month, I had 5 beers a sip of a mixed drink, and a ton of food and was fine even though I was in a pool for a while and also had a sunburn and the sun beating down on me.

As I come to terms and understand I may have a small alcohol problem, I do know friends are there for me if I need them. Sometimes I feel they are greedy and only care about themselves, but it shows that a good time can be ruined by alcohol and I'll never be able to look back and do it again because of it.

In my life, there are so many things I wish I did differently. In 2000, I wish I quit my job, took life seriously and found a real job. I have a job that was fun, easy, simple, and loaded with friends, laughs, and good times for 16 years and then the past month has just been misery, anger, and hate. Sometimes I question if its even worth it anymore.

I'm at a point in my life where there are a lot of changes going on, but I am thankful that I have a friend who listens and gives advice anytime I need it. Some friendships are larger than work friends, and are true friends, not just co-workers anymore.

I recently started looking for potential dates again, its been a while.

I recently started looking for houses again, as I feel a stronger need to move now more than ever.

I recently started looking for yet another new job as I test the waters and see what else is out there. Although I know a promotion my lie ahead in my future, I am unsure if I will even want it when that time comes.

Its been a long month, but I don't smile as much as I used to, I don't talk to people as much as I used to, and I seem more angrier and upset more often. I just wish I could go back in time to October and change everything I've done all over again.

My goal in life is to be happy, not to grow up and be a angry person like my neighbors were growing up who didn't like anyone on their lawn.

Vacation can't come soon enough . . . . but also, so too does my 35th Birthday and I don't even know WTF I want to do for it.

Choices to be made, time will tell what direction things go in. . . .

- lostways27 -

Jul. 4th, 2016

The Beginning of a new Era

Its sad to look back at people who lie and deny and make shit up, but when left alone by a fire, truths are revealed and true colors come out. For the better part of this year, I've been quiet, but I'm sick and tired of the petty High School teenage drama shit because of 1 person who doesn't approve of another person's friendship with someone.

People get transfered in my business and life goes on so too do I. Last night was a great night. I spent nearly 3 hours in a pool with a stronger group of people who have fun all the time together and I feel fortunate to be around positive fun people. Growing up, I loved swimming, but over the past 15 years voided it because I battled body image problems and never liked to be around other people without a shirt, but since I reached my goal and dropped down to under 175 pounds, I've regained my confidence in myself. People who are positive get the good side of me and bring out the best in me. As I swam and drank in the pool, I forgot I was constantly in the sunny side and when I went inside to change, I noticed some interesting sunburn marks, mostly on my shoulders. Nothing severe like I had in 3rd grade where it was deep red and peeling, but it felt hot still even at 11pm when I was home checking myself out in the mirror.

It sucks people left early because a fire in a firepit is fun, its fun to sit around, laugh, relax, and have fun. Even though I'm not a smores type person, I do like the smell of a fresh new fire burning sticks and other things.

As I begin the 4th week away from my original store, I smile less, I walk and wonder around the store less, and generally just work my ass off to get to where I want to get in life. Its a sad reality, but knowing I'm close to the next level up is a huge huge feeling inside. Its like being a little kid on Christmas Eve, knowing Santa will come and spoil me with gifts, but instead knowing that a promotion is around the corner as well. It was funny that my friend at the party introduced me to someone who worked in the same store I did and I had no idea he did because thats how focused on my job and my promotion that I want to get the next level, out of cold departments and into an area of the store where rotating leaky milk and broken eggs isn't critical.

Wednesday afternoon will probably be the hardest ride home because it'll be exactly 1 month since I learned of my transfer out and onto the path I am currently on. Its like bringing 2 lead heavy fists to a boxing fight, I go in quick and ready to just destroy and dominate everything and anything in my way. Today I began a new thing I calll balanced ordering so I don't get overwhelmed with 4 big fucking loads on the same day. Another 200 milk crates and 55 cases of eggs is a bit too much. Off tomorrow, so Wednesday will be a breeze because I made 2 orders tiny and easy.

As I sit here listening to music, feeling to cold AC against my back and the warm sunburns on my shoulders, I never ever though I'd change and adapt to this current store, the nicer people, the volume, and different location, but I'm loving every minute of it. If I got transfered last Summer and missed out on the great times the group of friends had last Summer, I'd probably have stepped down and said fuck it to my job because I wasn't ready for change and to move on.  . . . but after the best department inventory in the store, a troll got pushed out FINALLY, but a month later I get my chance to be a shining star, step up to the plate and take whats mine.

Inventory is next week, but I wasn't there for most of the time so I don't care. The good news is in the 2 weeks I've been there, I've reversed a bunch of trends. KLT was awful for out of codes, for milk, for eggs, and shelve conditions were loaded with expired items. Customers seem happy with a lot I bring to the table, but I just work the way I work....with my head down, quick, and harder than I ever have to make the best of this chance I've been given.

Life is full of people and chances. The ones who have been most positive and believe in me are the ones I stay closest to. When I had a chance to go full time in 2004, I didn't like the city and didn't want to go to Somerville so I declined. In 2009 I was promoted within the store I was most familiar with and because I knew everything about the store, they just left me in it. I'll always be greatful to Ken for giving me advanced notice that a transfer was coming to me. I think if he told me that I was being transfered at the time he said "a little birdy told me your on the way up and out" I would have been blindsided and wouldn't know what to do. Now my confidence is at an all time high and I am ready for whats pushed to me next.

As my reputation grows, I know its a matter of time before the next level is reached. Woo-town was fun, Stones has been wicked fun and one of the busiest, which makes things much much easier when I go put into a slower store next. Unless the company has other ideas to put me in one of the only 2 stores busier.

Times change, the people change, but there will always be one who has believed in my from the beginning who will be above the rest.

Thank you!!

- lostways27 -

Jun. 30th, 2016


Its possible to be anything you want to be and do what you want to do, but you can't do anything unless you believe in yourself.

Its been a fun 3 weeks since I have moved from my main store since 2000 to 2 different stores the past few weeks. The first week was rough as I was having severe separation anxieties, but confidence in myself was restored from constant re-assurement from my best friend there who told me it takes time to adjust and everything will be ok.

As I look back at the epic failure people I have replaced were, there is no doubt in my mind anymore that I will be a shining star and move up to where I want to be soon. Confidence grows each day in the new store, customers question certain things like "why isn't there anymore markdown milk?" or why aren't there as many markdowns as before? or why does the department look so nice and neat and full??

When you believe in yourself, you get places.

Since I left, its become crystal clear to those who unfortunately "got stuck" doing most of the things I did there and now they are learning how to adapt without me. Hopefully its a step in the right direction for another friend there who has been used and abused by others to do the things that they didnt want to do, but hopefully she gets her chance to shine and get out of that mess of a store that uses her as a 3rd front end supervisor.

A job is a job, but great people make the times go by and more fun. Some days suck, but the memories remain and you move on.

As I sit here and type this, I think I am finally happy in my new store, well, atleast closer to being happy once I no longer have to use a red card to keep punching in or out.

Every idea and work method makes a person stronger. I thought I was putting up and dealing with a lot of stuff before, but now I'm moving even more products and doing more than before and I leave work a hot sweaty mess and although I feel tired, I actually feel great. Currently I weigh 172 pounds, but its the work, the amount of work, the way I work, and the feeling of getting a strong workout from the bending and stretching I've done there as well.

I only went in a pool once last Summer and its almost time for July 3rd when I most likely will again. Its been 6 weeks since I started walking with a friend and really started to take my health and body seriously, but its amazing how different I look and feel since cutting out all of the bad habits of eating the worst junk foods you could imagine. I'd binge and eat a full size bag of Doritos, boxes of Keebler Girl Scout type cookies, big candy bars, ice cream pints, greasy chicken, close to a 2 liter and a half of Coke a day, random candy, a 20 oz Coke and brownies.....and other bad bad choices. Now I flushed my system with water and feel so much better than before and the looks are starting to change too.

Its all about believing in yourself and gaining confidence. . . . if you can think it, you can do it!!!!!

- lostways27 -

Jun. 28th, 2016

Future is now

As I am about a month away from turning 35, I see the window of change and time to settle closing.

Yes I still live at home, but its rent free allowing me to save save and save more money.

Yes I still have the same job I have had since high school, but everyone needs food and its a guarantee that the job will be around for a long time.

Yes I still have intentions of moving out next year as I feel more confident in every action and thing I do.

There are times over the past 4 weeks since I was told I was transfered that I have considered quitting my job, but positive friends keep me focused.

Life is too short to get upset with it, but changes happen daily. People come and go in your life, but its how you learn to adapt that make you get through it.

It took me a few weeks to believe in myself, to believe that I really am good at my job and everything I do at it. I thought it was just the store I originally worked at, but as I've adapted to different ordering, working, and shopping patterns, I've grown more aggressive and quicker at stocking shelves. Friends who believe in me know that its a matter of time before I am promoted, but the question is how far up the ladder will I be promoted. I guess you can say I am greedy, like everyone else at times. All I want is more money for the job I do, to leave the cold departments and go the the warm grocery department again where I started out 16 years ago.

Everyday changes, some days are full of positive energy and ideas, others are still slowed by negative ones and negative people. It hurts to be away from the friends who've grown into more than friends because you spend so much time with them, but its part of life, moving on and making new ones, but none will replace them.

The moral is simple, believe anything can happen because in time, anything will happen. Its all about the money and following that trail of success anywhere you go.

As I sit here and ramble listening to some light rain bounce off the air conditioner, I have a day full of things I wish to accomplish. Tomorrow I have a new liquor store to tackle as well.

Set little goals and everything gets better. A few days ago, I weighed myself and got down to 171 pounds. I look back and never ever thought I'd stick with it as long as I have, but I did and am happier everyday with the results. As I push myself to higher levels and lift weights to tone my body and try to be more confident in my body image, I know its only been 7 weeks, but the changes are only beginning to take shape. I can only imaging how different I'll look and feel by September as I push myself to stick with the changes I've made for myself. My transfer to 2 different stores also helped out as well. Water is my key to success. I look at photos I've taken of myself before I started these changes vs now and I can see the changes.

Life sucks sometimes, but every curveball thrown at me in it makes me stronger. If I was transfered at this time last year, I most likely would have quit because I had no self confidence, I had a huge fear of traveling and a fear of highways. I had a fear of new people and strangers. But Last Summer was great. BBQ's at a friends house, dinners as a lot of great places, and other random adventures and conversations pushed my confidence to new levels. I look at 6-6-16 as the day that changed everything. In January, we had a transfer party for a friend and it was a fun night, but on 6-6-16, I knew who my true friends were because by the end of the week, others never said bye to me, and some haven't even said Hi to me unless they need something. Every outing and experience is fun.

So now I have a choice to make. As my 35th birthday gets closer and closer, People want to go out for it. . . . .

Here is a list of places I haven't been to in a long time that I want to go back to at some point......
- Outback Steakhouse in Burlington (I have a $25 gift card)
- 99 Restaurant ......because I never drank there
- Yangtzi River in Lexington Center . . . . . again because I never drank there
- Bertucci's ......because last Summer it was a random walk and dinner before the carnival
- Border Cafe ......never been there
- Olive Garden ......Never been there
- Tavern in the Square in Burlington ......Never been there
- Grassfields ......never been there
- Mario's in Lexington center......I haven't been there since 1999
- Papa Gino's . . . If only they served alcohol
- Woburn Bowlerdrome . . . . If only they served alcohol
- King's Burlington. . . ....never had a bad time there
- Mohegan Sun or Foxwoods ......its a good thing they are far away because if they were closer, they'd be monthly visits
- The Great Wall / Tony C's / Kings .....the original birthday party crawl that started it all
- Tony C's . . . .since it was new when we went, maybe they learned how to change things up
- Longhorn Steakhouse in Reading ....(But there isn't much else to do in that area)
- Dave and Busters . . . . Never on a weekend though

Here is a list of places I never want to go to again.........
- Waxy's ........NO, some places are just bad
- Buffalo WIld Wings in Burlington by AMC.....Fuck them. For a good time, read their reviews on Yelp.com
- Cheesecake Factory . . . . Only if I win a lottery ticket or some extr money because their prices are too high
- Burger King / McDonalds / Wendy's ......fast food is sooooo bad

Choices choices choices.......planning time continues as I travel and find new ideas. Who's in, who's out . . . more choices to be made as well.

- lostways27 -

Jun. 27th, 2016


When it comes crashing down, it hurt inside......its not Hulk Hogan's WWF entrance music, but its a fact of life.

I worked in a building since high school and it sucks I'm gone, but its part of my promotion, I have to move on and experience the shit in other stores. I look back at the good times and the bad, and how good I had it and now I see a store thats falling apart. As a team, we all pulled out weight, except for a poor leader who only cared about break, lunch, and leaving. Its sad to see the things I used to do fall on the shoulders of someone already doing the job of 2 people because a boss doesn't do enough. It sucks seeing an empty bread aisle when I know I used to be the best back up a friend could have and actually sell what little amounts of products we sold. Now its like a free for all and the place is just in shambles. Every time I shop there, it saddens me to see how much of a struggle it is to do some of the things I used to do and the convos my neighbors have about how bad things have gotten. I told my neighbors to let the manager know, because I no longer work there and its no longer my problem.

As time has gone on, I've finally adjusted to life outside of the original store for me. A week in 1 store, now starting the 2nd week in another store, things are coming to me better as I learn new things and new ways to work with a past boss. Once I learn what sells and how much I really have to order, I'll be fine. Its just as I called it when we pushed a troll out the door, its a transition adjustment period.

I'll never fully let go of a store I worked at for 16 years until I move out of this place I live in. Besides sleep, I spent a ton of time inside that store and met a lot of great people. I look back and miss people everyday, seeing how bad and miserable some people are in other stores.

Always believe in yourself and others will compliment you. I can't believe the amount of positive feed back I've received in this 2nd store I've been transfered to. 2 weeks ago in Woo-town, I was receiving compliments and just brushed it off, but now I guess I really really am good because people continue to compliment me on things here too.

Its sad to know someone won't be happy "stuck" in a store he probably doesn't want to be in in the first place, but I wish it was simple to trade me back to my hometown where I belong, to clean it up and make it great again. Positive energy flows from one person to another. Negative energy kills moral, hope, and makes a store suck. In Stones, I feel positive vibes, In hometown-land, I sense a lot of anger, hositility, and negativity since I left.

Friends who are bigger than work stick together. As my transition period continues, I look toward building a new group of friends to hang out with, but keeping some of my favorites from before. There are some great people out there, but also a lot of assholes who don't deserve the time of day. Surrounding myself with positive people is what keeps me going and keeps me motivated to do what I do and be the best that I can be. I may be off tomorrow, but I have a lot of things to do, walk with a friend, and who knows what thereafter. All I know is....a few weeks ago, Thursday June 2nd to be exact, I bought new swimtrunks, took a walk, and ended up getting Chinese food at The Great Wall by myself. Part of me knows I need to do part of that again in order to find the answers I am looking for,

Life is full of questions, but the answers are always the hardest to find.

- lostways27 -

Jun. 23rd, 2016


Since it was announced at 3:50pm on June 6th that I was getting transfered, people and things from my past are coming up to me and I'm going through stores at a rapid pace. As I drove to Kings that night, sitting in traffic and meeting a friend at a bar next door to help calm my nerves, I sit here and type the next chapter of the story.

So last week I was in Woooo, I was lost, I was confused, I was angry, I was pissed, I was sad, I was heartbroken, and I just wanted to go back to the store I grew up working in, had the best times in, and knew every corner and department.

So in Wooo, I worked my ass off because I was isolated and separated from my friends who I got close with and talked to every day on a day to day basis. Some days were good, some days were bad, but all in all, we all chipped in and did our job. So I go in there and simply clean up, dominate, and take complete control of a bad situation. A bad inventory, bad shelf conditions, even some critter issues. I must have been good because by the start of the 3rd day, I was told I was going the next town over . . . to Stones.

So I finish up my time In Wooo and enjoyed a day off Monday, before going to a higher item count store. I get there and its like a bomb went off, the shelves are a mess, the store is dirty, the backroom is a mess, and the uboats are all full. But this store is different, I received in it for 1 day. 1 day only. But its weird, I felt more comfortable In Stones, that Wooo because the Grocery manager and I have a past, we worked together for nearly 3 years and he knows what I am capable of.

So as this week has quickly gone by, today was a great day, probably the best day since I left my hometown. I was filling shelves, blocking, and doing everything like before in other stores. So the store manager and grocery manager want to talk to me, thinking nothing of it, I go outside on the receiving dock and see what they want to talk about.

Apparently I have a reputation of being a solid worker who is promotable right now because of my knowledge and track record of good inventories and KLT and shrink saving methods. As we're talking, all I am thinking of is how bad the commute is, but how far I've come from driving up and down a little side road to and from work for 16 years.

Its little conversations that go a long way, and this was the best conversation I've had since my former manager told me I was getting transfered. I learned about "Why" I was brought to Stones for a week, but as it turns out, it'll be more than 1 week, they want me back next week because they have no one and do more Dairy than Wooo. I was happy to hear that people who work with a certain 2 grocery managers get promoted "quickly." And now I am working with 1 of them.

The saying "I've seen better days" isn't even close to what lies ahead. I guess better days are ahead, the only question is how far will I have to drive and what bars are in town after I get done with Stones!!

BTW . . . I'm all done with Wooo. . . . Onto the next one!!

- lostways27 -

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July 2016



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